Bubbye 2004.......

Went shopping at Esprit whilst the guys were at Friday prayers, bought myself 3 pairs of pants and a couple of tops.














Then went to Takashimaya and mom got me and my sis some expensive dinner tops. I found a birthday present for my mum in law, got me Nike running shoes (can't let the pounds start piling now can I?), various facial care and cosmetic products and finally managed to get my pointy toed pumps.

Before going home, managed to get the Venetian gelato that I'd been craving for (I had chocolate mint and my mom had the durian supreme).

Reached the apartment just after 7pm and had to get ready cos my uncle was taking us out for Japanese dinner at Shima Restaurant at Goodwood Park Hotel. Had teppanyaki - mostly fish (salmon, tuna and cod), but I also sneaked in a few scallops AND prawn! including the prawn head!! Had fried rice and miso soup. Total bill in the end was S$1000++ for 10 people. I'm soooo full. Apparently my uncle still wants to take us out for that Indian meal on Sunday night. I hope my mom can talk him into NOT going cos I have an early blood test on Monday morning. Goodness knows why he really wants to stuff us!! Hehehe!! I could use some badly needed cash instead for more shopping, rather than adding on my weight!

Hungry?!

Woke up around 7.30am. Couldn't wait for breakfast as usual. Had my 2 slices of bread and peanut butter, but my hubby's scrambled egg sandwich looked really yummy and so did my brother in law's Indomie fried noodles! Omigawd! Really wanted a taste, but managed to resist temptation and had a banana instead. Even that banana tasted really yummy! Had to stop myself from eating a second one. Had my Japanese rice crackers instead.











Showered @ 12pm, had fried rice for lunch whilst waiting for the guys to return from computer hunting. Had a chicken nugget and fries too!

Around 2pm, left for D.F.S. Bought myself a Dior charm bracelet (can't believe it costs more than $100!), and birthday pressies for everyone. Today alone I spent $700++!! Uh-oh! Better keep myself in check!

Went to Isetan supermarket and bought myself some Japanese goodies to bring back home to Brunei. Then, went to KFC for CHEESE FRIES! and chicken nuggets. Omigod! I'm getting fat!

Had visitors in the evening, then my uncle brought everyone to the International Seafood Restaurant for prawns, scallops & crab dinner. Unfortunately, I can only eat boring seabass and veggie. I only touched a little soup cos it still had crabmeat in it. Such temptations! Urrgghh!! My uncle promised to take us out for seafood free Indian tomorrow... heheh!!! We didn't reach the apartment until midnight!

3 Weeks Since...

Yup! 21 days after my operation.

Woke up early to pick up my new prescription from the hospital with my hubby and his brother. Then a difficult blood test, then a breakfast of 2 chicken pies from Polar Cafe!!

Then an ultrasound around 11am. Am soooo sleepy (only managed about 3 hours sleep the night before). Went home around lunch time. Had lunch then slept at 3pm for a couple of hours.

Had a craving for murtabak, (Murtabak - Unleavened bread filled with various meats, spices and onions, cooked over a hot plate smothered with clarified butter. Must be enjoyed with a curry gravy), so my dad and the guys went to get some from Zam Zam restaurant. It was the best stuff. We all had the beef murtabak and egg murtabak with lashings of curry. Yums!

It's really difficult to keep on a healthy diet. Everything seems so yummy and I can't seem to stop stuffing my face! I've never been this hungry before. I guess being on dialysis really messed up my appetite.

Noticed my day is beginning to revolve around food lots more since the transplant. Also my ears seems to wax up alot more too!! Nyahahahah!!

Moving around has been pretty painless the past couple of days, except for the occasional sharp pangs when I get out of bed, but tonight it has been pretty painless, although I do not want to cough or sneeze!

Towards A New Life.

Woke up feeling hungry. After taking my Tacrolimus at 8am, couldn't wait to have breakfast at 9am. Peanut butter is as appealing as ever. Could have eaten more than the recommended 2 slices of bread.

Spent a quiet day in front of the TV, whilst everyone went out to shop. Looking forward to my 4 books from Kinokuniya (on cooking of course!).

Tetsuya Charlie Trotter (Foreword), Tetsuya Wakuda

The French Laundry Cookbook Thomas Keller, Deborah Jones (Photographer)

Harumi's Japanese Cooking (Conran Octopus Cookery S.) Harumi Kurihara

Healthy Cooking A Common Sense Guide

Alice and family came over for a chat. Offered to have what's left of my Tenchkoff catheter (ie. titanium lock) framed for memories of my life as a renal patient.

Had durian! Have to admit, it was yummy. Hee! Hee!










Managed to get out of bed on my own throughout the night.

Free At Last!

Today is exactly 3 weeks since I was admitted into hospital. I really, really hope my blood test is ok, cos I WANNA GO!

Good news said the Dr. They're discharging me today! I have a 2pm appointment with Dr. Vathsala, then I'm free to go.

After collecting my prescription, we finally leave. It is about 6pm when we reach the apartment.

I notice that my appetite has increased significantly. Perhaps the freedom of not being under the watchful eye of the doctors and nurses, plus the knowledge that I now have access to NON-HOSPITAL food, has given me the motivation to eat (ie. junk food and basically non-healthy food!) Naughty! Naughty!

At night, still had difficulty getting in and out of bed. I have been so dependent on the automatic hospital bed. My dad had to help me out whenever I woke up to pee. Plus, the baby's flu is making me nervous, so mask on,but extremely happy to see him again. He seems to have missed me as well.

Boxing Day?

Urrrghhh!! I hope the blood sugar testing is the last for today. Do not appreciate being poked so early in the morning, then having blood taken. I hate it! Urine sample this morning also.

The in-laws are leaving for Brunei today. They came and visited me before they left for the airport.

There's this breaking news on Channel News Asia about a massive earthquake in Indonesia, but they haven't got any visuals yet.

Dr. came and said I can go home tomorrow! Provided my blood test is stable. I hope so.... Gonna shower today.

I still want to go through the motion of tucking in my "tail" into my undies everytime I go to the loo! Except it's not there anymore! I can't believe it's gone now....

Hospital lunch was gross, so I asked my hubby to get me a Burger King Swiss Double Mushroom Burger! Yummy! I can't believe a burger can taste soooo good!! Heheh!!









Couldn't finish it in one sitting though, it was huge! Saved it for tea.

Had my i.v. line taken out at last. It feels so much better.

Day 17.

Didn't have any painkillers at all yesterday. Managed to get to the loo by myself as they put my drip on a mobile stand.

The surgeon checked my op sites this morning. It actually didn't hurt when he pressed on the dressing! I think the pain is actually coming from inside my tummy, not on the actual cut. The nurse recommends me to press on my tummy with a cushion whenever I move, especially getting in and out of bed. It does help though.

Had my wounds dressed today also. It wasn't painful at all, although I was kinda scared. I was actually sweating! The nurse says my wounds looked good, and as the surgeon used absorbable sutures, I wouldn't need to have any stitches removed. Thank God! Less trauma to go through.

I'm so full today too. Made myself eat and drink as much as possible. Hopefully, they'll keep the i.v. drip off (although the line is still in). Not sure if I need another transfusion. Hope not.

I'll shower tomorrow. The nurse wanted me to today, but dared not yet.

The nurse also had to check my blood sugar today. Owwww!! Alright, not as bad as drawing blood.

Day 16.

Managed very little breakfast. Feel really sleepy. After passing urine in the loo, nurse sponged me down in the room and brushed my teeth. Feel a bit better, but still rather tired.

The nurses wanted me to eat, but only managed very little lunch. I really don't have any appetite. Really sleepy. Want to sleep.

Was woken up around 3pm for ultrasound. Really worried now. Is my kidney ok? Don't know what's wrong.

The doctor says my Hb is still really low, so he checked my kidney. Looks fine. Then checked the Tenchkoff catheter op site to make sure it's not actively bleeding. He says there's some blood around the tissue although not alot. He doesn't seem to be sure where I'm losing the blood from. There doesn't seem to be any localised blood pool, so he thinks the bleeding is generally around the op site. I hope the bleeding would stop wherever it is. Dr. says that's why I still have generalised pain around the op site. I'm still worried. Will probably need another transfusion tonight.

At this rate, not sure when they will discharge me. I really don't feel so well yet.

Hope there won't be further complications. I'm really trying to eat and drink as much as possible. Hope things will get better.

Day 15

Still on drip. Asked for painkiller shot at 8am. Passed urine on bed pan. Sponged down by nurse. Feel slightly better.

Asked for another shot at 2pm. The pethidine really helps. Managed to get some sleep. Pain was virtually gone, so managed to go to the loo to pass urine.

Had some bread from Delifrance around 6pm. Feeling better actually. Decided to forgo painkiller at 8pm.

Doc says my Hb is low, around 7g/dl. Took some blood to double check and also for cross-match as I needed a transfusion.

The blood came around 10pm, nurse says it'll take about 4 hours.

Asked for my pethidine shot around midnight. Managed to get some sleep. Woke up around 2am to pass urine.

Day 14 - The Last Day.

Total days admitted: 16 days!!

OK....today's the day. The op's gonna be in the afternoon. Have been fasting since midnight last night. Thankfully they stopped the potassium reducing medication yesterday evening. Not sure yet if the op will be under GA or LA. I guess I'll leave it to the surgeon. The doctor says it's not a major procedure, probably takes 30 minutes or 45 minutes max? Oh well, can't be that bad right?

Today is the last day I'll ever clean my exit site with Hibiscrub in the shower. The last day I'll have to sit down and clean my exit site with the saline, with iodine and apply bactroban. The last day I'll have to carefully cover it ith Primapore to protect it from infection. Feels weird. Has been part of my routine these past 5½ years. I guess things are changing huh? But the good thing is, it's for the better. Hopefully, that means less time getting ready in the morning! That is, no more exchanges, no more cleaning routines and no more exit site dressing routines. Time to say goodbye I guess.

The doctor came. He says the operation will be under LA. Then the nurse came to put in my i.v. line. I hate it! (At least I can still write). Not sure how I'm supposed to go to the loo now.

Finally got the call from the O.T. at 9pm! Such a long wait. Am starving by now.

Op. was done under LA. Not sure if it was a good idea. Really scared.

Came back to my room around 11.30pm. Was in pain. Asked for painkiller. Some relief, but really fitful sleep, cos I kept waking up in pain whenever I moved. I am completely traumatised by this experience, I can't even bring myself to put down in words what I went through in that OT. Just want to forget everything.

Day 13.

Damned! The "sand" medication is giving me diarrhoea! Already went to the loo twice this morning. Didn't drink the juice today, but had the baked beans in tomato sauce! Not sure if that helped reduce my potassium levels.

The doctor came to get my consent for tomorrow's operation and also to get some blood (so what else is new?). He aslso asked me if I'd prefer to have the operation under Local or General Anaesthetic?! I don't know! Which one is the LESS PAINFUL option? Gonna ask KL on her thoughts later. I'm scared!

Day 12.

Collected 2 urine samples in the morning, plus 6 tubes of blood!

The doctor said my urine sample came out -ve for infection. My stent will be removed @2pm.

Wheeled to the Urology Centre just after 2pm. A relatively quick procedure (about 10 minutes?) and rather painless. (Although hearing this old man's voice moaning in pain whilst I was waiting outside didn't help!). There was only very mild discomfort. I dared not look at the TV image of the cystoscopy of my bladder. Inserting the endoscopic tube wasn't too bad, but the long wire looked somewhat daunting.

After a few minutes searching, the doctors(!) asked me to breathe deeply and with a swift motion she pulled out a 10-15(?) cm long plastic tube. Phew! NB/. The stent was placed in my ureter to keep it patent after the transplant. Since I'm producing urine relatively regularly now, the stent was removed before infection sets in.

Now it's only my Tenchkoff catheter that's left to be removed. My lifeline these past 5 ½ years, I guess I will miss it initially, this foot long tube coming out of my abdomen!

















Not looking forward to the operation though. More pain, more stitches....

My potassium is high!! Oh God! I have to take that medication that tastes like eating sand!! Yeuch!!! Must be that banana I had for tea!

Day 11.

Actually feeling physically better. Boredom really beginning to set in, especially reading all the Christmas sales on offer in the papers!!

Can actually cough, sit cross legged without any pain or difficulty. Hopefully another week to go.

BP: 120/80 mm/Hg
56kg

10 Days After.

The doctor says my stent will be removed on Monday via cystoscopy under local anaesthetic. Forgot to ask her what time they'll be doing it. Then, Tenchkoff catheter out by Wednesday, 22nd December and hopefully out of hospital by the end of next week if there are no further complications.

The dietician came to see me at 10am to explain about low cholesterol diet, since I'm on steroids ie. Prednisolone, which can cause an increase in cholesterol levels which leads to weight gain. Eeek!!!

Blood Pressure: 115/70
Weight: 57kg.

Noticed this book being mentioned in a few of the magazines, so giving it a go. Kinda tired of reading only newspapers and fashion magazines anyway.

Day 9.

Feeling better, but really hate having my period.

Doctor says my stent is to be removed on Manday AM on the 20th. The dressing over my drain has been removed. My wound is now completely exposed. Looks to be about a 15cm incision. I didn't ask how many stitches. The nurse says there's no stiches to be removed (?)

Surgeon says my Tenchkoff catheter should be out about 2 weeks after transplant. So maybe around the 22nd?

Day 8

Feel a cold coming on, but after second antibiotic dose, feel a tad better.

I've got my period today. Bummer! Hate it.

Day 7.

Fitful sleep. My Creatinine's gone down, but now I've urinary tract infection!

Moved to another room at 8pm. This one's slightly better.

I've been started on Amoxycillin.

Day 6.

Feeling better today. Urinary catheter out today! Thank goodness it wasn't painful.

I took a SHOWER today! Aaaahhh!! Feels soo goood....

And the baby came to see me today!! Miss him so much!

I'm hungry.... feel like having KFC's Cheese fries!! Yum!


Have never drank so much! So far I've already drank 1.5 litres of fluid, and it's only 4pm. After 5 years of restricted fluid intake, it takes some getting used to all this drinking.

Feeling so bored! A bit worried though. The doctor said my Creatinine has been rising. Scared! She says I must drink at least 2 litres everyday or they'll put me back on the drip and I won't be able to go home.

I've been moved from the High Dependency Unit. This other room is such a depressing and old room. The tap's leaking onto the floor. I wanna go home!

Day 5.

Feeling slightly groggy and nauseous this morning. My drain came out today. It was damn bloody excruciating!! It's supposed to just slip out of the operation site easily, however, mine seems to have become stuck, so the doctor had to yank it out! There were little bits of bloody flesh(?) stuck to the drain tube! I cried a bit after that, but at least now I have less weight to lug around.

I accidentally passed motion in bed! (I only wanted to let out a bit of gas!) It was fluid. Feeling a bit depressed.

The nurse said I can shower now, but I'm scared. My wound has also been left exposed now (supposedly to help it heal better and quicker), with suture tapes only! I'm scared to look.

Still feeling slightly sleepy, but felt better as the day progressed. I watched TV, read magazines and called the apartment to talk to the baby! I miss him!

Day 4

My hubby's discharged today. I'm starting to miss my family.


My i.v. line is out today. Painful! But such a relief! I have to drink loads of fluid now. I'm hungry but I dare not eat, because passing motion makes me wanna pee, and it's a bit painful and kind of a discomfort.

Oh yes, and I HATE the TED stockings!

My mom brought me some porridge. It was okay.

Starting to feel better, and I'm sitting in the chair with minimal assistance, and for long periods.

Except I have not had any peaceful sleep since. Only really fitful ones, and the early morning blood tests at 5/6am is NOT helping. The surgeon rounds at 7.30am also leaves me feeling sleepy and groggy, although it improves throughout the day.

Feeling thirsty this afternoon. I'm not gonna drink juice anymore, just water.

Day 3

My C.V.P. line is out today. It ws ok, relatively painless. Yay!! My neck is free. Although my i.v. line is beginning to get really sore now.

I'm starting to get out of bed now with help. I only felt brave enough to do it because I really had to pass motion!! I couldn't face the indignity of doing in into a bed pan! Such a relief, but kinda painful when I pee. I hope it's nothing to worry about, and the catheter isn't helping any.

Day 2: The Day After The Day After......

Try to sit up in bed. Still uncomfortable.

Watching TV.

Feeling annoyed with the PAIN and the endless visitors peering through the glass. Hate pretending to smile and wave to them when I just want them to F*** **F!!!

And the surgeons and the doctors!!!!

The physiotherapist wants me out of bed. NOT!!! Did I not already try to sit up in bed??!!

The Day After.

Lie in bed all day. Still feel pretty miserable. Feeling awful. In pain....

Asked for painkillers, only given Panadol. Where's the morphine???!!!

Feel nauseous, can't even watch TV. I can't eat! I feel sick!

D-Day!!!

Got up before 6am. Took a nice, long hot shower. Probably the last shower I'll have for the next week or so. Dunno...

My family started to arrive for moral support. Uncles, aunts.....My hubby came to see me briefly. We were real scared, but tried not to show it to each other. He'll be wheeled into the operating theatre first.

Around 7am I was given my medication and a sedative, to help with the butterflies, so I was pretty much in la la land after that. Everything was a blur after that. I think I was wheeled out around 9 or 10am. I couldn't be sure. And since I had my contact lenses out as well, I could only hear peoples voices around me. Couldn't see much... I feel so light.... aaaaaahhhh.....

Next thing I knew, I hear voices telling me it was over. Still under this deep fog. They put a surgical mask over my face then started to wheel me out. They said they were taking me to nuclear medicine for an x-ray of the transplanted kidney. Oh my god!! I've got my new kidney!! (But realisation doesn't set in until much later, mind you). I was given the all clear, then wheeled into the high dependency unit. I managed to move my head to check the wall clock. I think it said 5pm. I'm not gonna be allowed visitors for the next week or so. I'll be in total isolation. I think I only heard my mom's voice as they wheeled me past my family.

Then, had yet more blood tests, hourly checks of temperature, CVP (Central Venous Pressure?), blood pressure, urine output.

I felt so miserably, and I was barely conscious.

The Day Before.

Ok, my hubby's in today. He's in the next room. His mum will be staying with him. (Hehe!! Do I make us sound like a couple of mummy's boy/girl? Well, tough! We deserve it).

Oh yeah! My sister just flew in today. She just got back from this crazy ass work trip from Japan, L.A. and Chicago, viewing Hyatt hotels, and getting to stay at the best suites! For work! So not fair! And I'm stuck here in the S'pore Grand Hotel Presidential Suite! Well, on the plus side she brought me back the World Famous Oprah's Absolute Favourite Only Available In The Windy City Garrett Popcorn!!! Aaaaaahhh!!! Bliss comes in gallon cans. In cheese and caramel!! Yum!! http://www.garrettpopcorn.com/

Ooops! Just as I was about to dig my paws into the Chicago featured can, a doctor decided to pop in! She said' "I hope you're not gonna eat all that!" Well, duh! Of course I am! OK... hello! It was a gallon can, how could I possibly....Come on... *sigh*

Anyway, I pretty much lost my appetite after they inserted the i.v. line into my wrist, and the many blood tests following. Party over guys.....

Nil by mouth at the stroke of midnight, and then wey hey!! Rectal Suppository time!! Wot's dat I hear you say.. well.... a nice lady nurse comes in, tells me she's gonna give me sumthin to clear me bowels. Ok... so far so good. Now the good part... she tells me to lie on my side. Next thing I know, she tells me to take a deep breath, and then I feel a draft behind me (read: nurse lifting my hospital gown), and then, Whoah! She fingers me up the arse!!! Yecchh!! What was that?! Ok, done she says! The hell you're done! Well, I never.... Tells me, I'm gonna feel like going to the loo pretty soon. Oh yeah... big time diarrhoea! *SOB* oh the shame.....

Don't think I slept a wink that night. Maybe my eyes were closed, but my brain was on overdrive.

Admission Day.

Had to be at the admissions office before 12pm, but the whole thing took about an hour, so it was only around 1pm that I was finally showed to my room. I was real touched to have my cousin accompany me throughout the admission procedure, since my hubby had to be at the airport to pick up his mum and sisters.

I began to refer to the hospital as the Singapore Grand Hotel (Singapore General Hospital) just to lighten the moment. The room was ok, as far as hospitals went, although I couldn't help feeling depressed with it's boarding school layout. (Ok, on hindsight, that was the best room I had throughout my numerous stays at SGH).

The rest of the day was the usual doctors coming in introducing themselves, and ordering blood tests and such. My mom stayed with me for the next 2 nights.

Final Words.

Shawn had us in to talk about what is going to happen after we are admitted to hospital, what is going to happen before the operation, what to expect after waking up from the op, and the recovery and convalescence period.

Noteworthy, of course were the various tubes and catheters that we'll be waking up with. On top of my already existing peritoneal catheter, we'll wake up with an i.v. line at the neck, an i.v. drip at the hand, a drain from the operation site and best of all a urinary catheter from, well, where else would your bladder drain to. Fun!

I was also started on my immunosuppressant medication (7mg Tacrolimus b.d.), and warned that should I start feverish, to immediately contact her, as the operation will need to be delayed.

We left Shawn strangly enough in a daze, feeling downcast, grave and somber. (I think that explains it all). Why were we not jumping from the rafters then? Wasn't this what we've been dreaming of? I don't know...... We just wanted to leave the hospital and spend the next 2 days without thinking about the op.

Confirmation!

The operation has been confirmed for 8th December. It's really happening! We are really nervous and edgy. We do feel thankful, but somehow we can't help but feel,
I dunno.... I guess we're both just scared and shocked.

I will be admitted into hospital 2 days earlier (Monday before op) and my hubby will be admitted the following day.

Stressed Out!

Beginning to feel the strains of the past week. The nurses are beginning to get on my nerves. I can't talk about anything to do with the transplant without bursting into tears.

My husband must be feeling the strain too... he's become more subdued. We've got alot to take in........